I Wanna Be Like Mitch

Join the "I Wanna Be Like Mitch Movement" which has now spread as far west as Vegas. If you or someone you know wants to be like Mitch, submit your Mitch-Alike photo and we will publish it for the world to see.

Morning Mitch Sent to Guantanamo

Reliable sources have told Newsday that Mitch has been shipped to Guantanamo awaiting a military tribunal for enabling an aggressive terrorist plan. Sources say Mitch had employees widen the gap at Long Island and Penn Station train stations in an effort to swallow thousands of commuters whole. A previous incident with pigeons was not mentioned. Mitch is pictured second from the left.